And the correct response would be...

As I've previously blogged, my boys have done their fair share of holiday shopping this year, and to be totally honest, we're all at the end of our rope. Yesterday, we went to Walgreens and Noah proceeded to stack seven (yes, seven!!) Cars puzzles in the aisle. If that weren't enough to make a mom lose her hair, he then put ten gift cards on top and then a snowman! He was very distressed when I insisted that we put it all away. He ended up sitting on one side of the aisle in time-out while I worked desperately fast, with baby in arms, to put everything back where it belonged.

Since that wasn't enough abuse for one week, today, I had to go back to Walgreens. Noah was excited, thinking he'd be allowed to re-create his tower of fun. I quickly dashed that hope. This time, I grabbed a cart and put a crying Adam in the front and then proceeded to try to squeeze Noah into the back of a teeny tiny cart. Much tinier than even the dollar store. This wasn't really working. I took Adam out and tried to shop quickly while coaxing Noah into a sitting position every two seconds. I only had a few items to buy and knew I wouldn't be long, but I quickly realized that I needed a different plan of attack. I knew that as small as the cart was, it was only a matter of time before Noah toppled the cart over and got hurt.

So here's the dilemna... I had Adam in my arms and needed to get Noah out and into the front part with the other arm. Yeah... wasn't going to happen. And I couldn't just plop Adam on the floor. So I did what any self respecting mom would do. I just stopped in the middle of the store and looked away wildly, hoping for someone I knew to wander by. That didn't happen, but a store clerk was watching. Now, as an observer to what was going on, she could have done one of two things. She could have given me one of "those looks". You know that look. That look that clearly implies that I have no idea what I'm doing as a mother and am in way over my head. That look probably would have made me cry.

Instead, she made the better choice. She gave me a sympathetic smile. I asked if she could help me. I had her hold Adam while I got Noah moved to the front and buckled in. I thanked her and she said that she knows what it's like, that she has eight grandchildren. I finished my shopping and left the store feeling good about myself, even though my sad saga with Noah didn't really end there. Noah did stay in the cart. Well, he was buckled, so he didn't really have a choice, but he protested by trying to grab things left and right off the shelves, so while holding Adam the whole time, I had to navigate as close to the middle of the aisles as possible. When we got up to the checkout, he grabbed a candy dispender and when I took it from him to put it back, it broke, so I got to buy that, but you can also bet your bottom that he didn't get that candy dispenser. I gave it to the little girl standing behind us.

What struck me though is that the lady had several choices to make and she could have easily made me feel incompetitent. For whatever reason, she chose to give me the benefit of the doubt and I appreciated that. You can bet that I will be shopping there again. So I guess the moral of the story is that if you see someone struggling, offer to help. Give them the benefit of the doubt. You will never lose anything by offering to be kind.